good news!

At 10:45pm I got a call from Dr. Haughey from the OR: "He is fine. Nothing was actively bleeding when we got in there. All of my stitches were in place." (Your prayers?) Dr. Haughey said that Mike had very little blood loss during the surgery and he had noticed how very dry his mouth was when he spoke with Mike earlier this evening. He could tell that his voice was not normal and suspects that there was a clot sitting back there from his time in the recovery room. The bleeding has stopped and Dr. Haughey put a "clotting seal" over the area. As soon as he recovers from the anesthesia, he will be back up to the room. I will be praying for a restful night for my sweetheart. Today was a long ride for him. Again, thank you for cheering and praying.

please pray.

It is almost 10pm and Mike had to go back to the OR. He coughed about 8:45pm and there was blood coming from his tonsils. It is a very vascular area and I guess one of the arteries started bleeding. Poor Mike. He is exhausted and wants to sleep and I can't imagine how awful it is to have all that blood in your mouth. We are very thankful that Dr. Haughey came back over to the hospital instead of leaving it to one of the residents. Please pray. I guess they can cauterize it rather easily but this is very scary. Please, please pray for this.

my second visit to see the patient.

I just got to see Mike again. For another 5 minutes. It is very good to see him looking so normal - except for the scar and the drain tube and the fact that he feels horrible. I have to laugh because I said I was surprised his neck incision was only 3 inches long. Well, that was all I could see standing on his right side. This time I saw how the almost 8 inch incision goes on up the side of his neck. It still looks good, and like Sharon says "scars can be sexy". He will wear it well! I did not mention the possibility of the "hybrid tumor" to worry anyone, but rather because 1.) it helps us appreciate how thorough and intuitive Dr. Haughey is and 2.) if people are praying, they can be praying for the pathologist and this issue. This will just affect what we do next.

just saw mike!

They let me go up to his bedside in recovery for 5 minutes. He is definitely miserable and in a lot of pain but he looked good! And he could talk to me - more like groan to me, but I could easily understand him. I was expecting a lot of swelling in the face and neck but he didn't have any yet. I expected that his whole head would be wrapped in bandages but there were none. There was no breathing tube - yeah. He has about a 3 inch incision on his neck that is stapled and looked good. Please pray for his comfort. I have never heard Mike complain about any pain... he was complaining about how rotten he feels. But he is very coherent and looks good!

mike is out of surgery!

I just finished talking to Dr. Haughey after Mike's surgery. (It is about 3pm.) He said that EVERYTHING WENT VERY WELL. I want to start by saying that he also said that he was very aware of the many prayers in the operating room and during the surgery. He said he is very conscious of that. He said that one of the reasons that it took longer was that there was more tumor (cancer) at the primary site than we could see. He said that the initial photo (which is what was biopsied) was only about 10% of the mass, but he removed it all. Dr. Haughey explained that there are two parts to the tonsil, and Mike had both parts on the left side removed today because that is where his cancer was growing. The palatine tonsil is what many people have removed as kids, and Mike had the lingual part removed today as well. Dr. Haughey also removed a small part of the base of tongue on the left side that was affected. I was happy to hear him say that there will be no deficiencies from today's surgery after recovery. He said that Mike will have a VERY sore throat and will start on a soft diet tomorrow. Dr. Haughey said that he removed the lymph nodes where the cancer had spread and that was routine. Like we said before, it took longer because one of the affected nodes was much lower than the rest. The pathologist and Dr. Haughey will be conversing because this "farther south" lymph node has Bruce's attention. He is wondering if Mike might have a hybrid tumor (meaning that it might have components of p16 negative as well as p16 positive.) We will know more when he knows more concerning this part. And in a few minutes I get to go visit Mike in recovery for about 15 minutes! (Just so you know, my cell phone does not work in the Surgery Recovery Room so I have to step out in the hall to get or make texts & calls. )

checking in.

It is 2pm and I just got word from the OR that "they are still working and everything is going great." I am glad that they beeped me because I was ready to hear something. Thanks for being out there with me... I can feel you.

good update.

At 11:45am I was just told that "the patient's vitals are good and they just started on the neck dissection part of the surgery". This is good news and appears to me that they are right on schedule. They were removing the primary mass first (tonsil area) using the Steiner Scope and then it took some time to change equipment before they started on the lymph node neck dissection. Dr. Haughey will make an incision on the left side of Mike's neck and carefully remove the affected lymph nodes. This is very time-consuming as Dr. Haughey is working around nerves and arteries. I was thinking it was time to hear something! They give you a little buzzing pager and it is so stressful when it starts vibrating & flashing, even though you know it brings updates of your loved one. For a bit of trivia to ease the surgery stress, Dr. Haughey does Whitney Houston's tonsil work and the President of Pakistan has flown in for Bruce to work on him.

loving care.

Mike and I are overcome with the grace extended around us. We have enjoyed the sweetest phone calls, emails, blog comments and texts... and each one has landed at the perfect time to calm and encourage... thank you for your love and prayers...

Since we landed in St. Louis we have been pampered and cared for beyond belief... We are staying with long-time friends, Tom & Janice Vespa. (Since they have made numerous visits up to Oakland to visit, all of the kids know & adore them which makes it more comforting for the children. They all understand what loving care we are getting!)

Eating is certain to be uncomfortable for Mike for several days after his surgery but be assured that Mike's "last supper" was an amazing one! Tom lovingly made Mike fresh linguine pasta noodles using his Italian aunt's recipe because "that is what his mom would have done for him" when he needed comfort. When we arrived, the pasta noodles were drying on a tea towel and the aromas in the house were intoxicating. Tom made "wedding meatballs" made with fresh meat that he ground twice that gives a texture as soft as mousse. He also made a special tomato sauce from the region of Italy where his family is from - and to top it all off, we had a bottle of wine from that same region. Loving care. The meal was amazing. Mike had 3 servings.

The Vespa's home has a 3rd floor that they are considering our home for the next week. I cannot express how comforting it is to be with them. They are amazing friends. They are amazing caregivers. Because of Janice's extensive medical background, she also knows how to say "just the right thing" to encourage. When we headed out the door at 5:15am this morning she simply said "this starts the journey to healing". Those words have been a balm today. For years Janice has modeled being an advocate for aging parents in the hospital, and last night she coached me again about "being attentive, not being afraid to question & following your gut" with a loved one during a hospital stay. She printed out of check list for me to take notes on during each day in the hospital. Loving care.

Did we mention that the Vespas live just a couple miles from the hospital complex? I could actually walk from the hospital on Kingshighway to Skinker through Forest Park to get "home" if I wanted a two mile walk - which I might do later in the week.

We feel this same kind of love flowing in from friends far near & far... it is an amazing kind of journey to be on.

Dr. Haughey had so much care in his eyes this morning... and his confidence & excitement over his work are very comfort giving. It is hard not to tear up when I think about the path that brought us to Dr. Haughey's care.

mike's bread.

While Mike is in surgery, in the capable hands of Dr. Bruce Haughey, I thought I would busy myself in the Surgery Waiting Room by blogging to you!

Mike got up early yesterday morning to bake some bread before our flight to St. Louis. Tom Vespa picked us up at the airport and then we headed to the Siteman Cancer Center at Barnes Jewish Hospital to make a bread delivery to Dr. Haughey and his kind & caring nurses. We feel very indebted to these people who have scheduled our appointments and made it possible for us to be here - the least we can do is bring them some fresh whole wheat bread.

mike is in surgery!

Mike is in the operating room with Dr. Haughey, Dr. Gaines (the fellow), Dr. Davis (the anesthesiologist) and Denise (the nurse anaesthetist). I will keep you posted as I hear things... The surgery started at 8:45am is scheduled to last until 2pm, and they said not to be alarmed if they were not finished by 4pm. It was comforting and precious to me that Dr. Haughey stayed and prayed for Mike with me before he left for the surgery room. He also went and got a nurse to escort me to the surgery waiting area. I cannot express how caring that felt...

mike's "biker" wrist bands.

Sweet friends Leigh & Nile Ernst in California sent us two Lance Armstrong "Live Strong" bracelets to wear during Mike's cancer journey. Leigh & Nile have been a source of wisdom and inspiration to us with Nile's cancer fight. When we tried to order more wrist bands for the kids we realized we could personalize them and this is the result!

P.S. Like the print in the background? It is part of Abby's new collection at Target. (Bella just got these "Abby" shorts for her birthday.)

We hope you enjoy "meeting" Dr. Haughey in the YouTube video below.

Transoral Laser Microsurgery (TLM) at Siteman Cancer Center