I want to keep this post from becoming the length of a novella, but I would like to touch on a few of things that are very hard about having cancer. I am not talking about the conventional things that we could sort of prepare ourselves for like "pain, soreness, discomfort in swallowing, numbness at neck wound" etc. I am talking about the nagging things that are harder to describe...
Like not being able to sleep well. It was a weird thing when my husband, who sleeps like a baby every night as soon as his head hits the pillow, had restless sleep. For about 6 weeks when Mike was exhausted, sleep was hard to come by.
Like the weird side effects of his surgery from the extended period of time on a ventilator: a wicked bed sore on his heel (which Dr. H was not happy to hear about and commented that he would be talking to the nurses on the floor) and two funky bald patches on the back of his head (which did fill in at the 3 month mark).
Like how all the charming things that your wife used to do now bug the wee out of you. (It's the cancer talking. I have not changed. Now that we have figured this out, we can actually laugh about it... most of the time.)
Like how you feel pretty normal and recovered until you use some muscles out of the ordinary and realize how much strength you still have to get back.
Like how the unknown of the cancer's presence - or absence - is kind of haunting and keeps you praying for grace and strength and healing.
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